A few years ago, I received a call from someone I mentored, after losing touch for almost 2 years. I was in the 1^st or 2^nd year of PhD land, writing a paper the school lounge, when I got a phone call. “Hello” and on the other end I heard “Can I speak to Kristen Guillory” I immediately knew who it was. I ran to the hall and said “MIKE (not his real name)!!, I can’t believe it’s you” Mike was released from prison a few days prior. He said “ I can’t believe you have the same number and I can’t believe I remember it.” In that moment I knew I could never change my cell number. He told me that he was thinking about me and all that I did for him before he was locked up. My silly tail was thinking “You were thinking of me while you were in prison?… awww naaww” lol.

 So how do I know Mike? Let me take you back to a summer years ago. I walked in to work one day and saw someone new fixing the lights. I didn’t think too much except, oh there’s a new guy and he seemed nice. I, later, found out that he was there completing community service because of his parole violation. That summer I worked with a lot of young people, mainly males, who were completing community service for the same reason. I would tell them all the same thing—“I don’t have to know why you are here because I can’t do anything about that, but we can work on you not getting in trouble again and doing good.” Each time I said this-they would all say “Miss, you know if I told you what I did, you wouldn’t talk to me” I told them my job is not to judge you, but to help. I would ask them where did they see themselves in 5 years and many would say, “I hope I am alive next year”. Mike was no exception to this.

 For some reason Mike and I bonded. Even though we were so close in age, there was a separation, where he knew I was staff and a mentor figure, thus beginning our journey. One day I asked Mike about his childhood and found out he was still in a gang. He told me that his mother had always been supportive but his step father was another story.  He made Mike (again not his name) wear plastic grocery store bags as shoes to school, would spit in his food, would only let him eat a twizzler for dinner for days at a time while the others at the table ate dinner. As Mike was telling me this, he began to shake his head and tap his face. I began to get concerned and asked, what was wrong? He then began to cry. Mike hadn’t cried in 10 years, so he didn’t know what was going on. Mike later told me that he joined a gang at the age of 12 because he couldn’t stand being at home. At the age of 16 he and some others committed a crime and he was sentenced to TYC (Texas Youth Commission-prison for youth). He was sure to tell me that prison for juveniles was no joke, very nasty and bad things went on. He was released at 19 years old and I met him 6 months later.

At that time he was still in the gang and he mentioned wanting to get out. After speaking with him and encouraging him to find out if he can get out, he came to me 2 weeks later, lifted his shirt so I could see his back that was covered in bruises, and then handed me a bandana and said : “I got out of the gang for you” and then said “ I was also gonna give you my gun” I said well, no thanks on the gun but let’s turn it in. That was such an amazing and unreal moment. I came to know his mother who adored me. I saw a side of Mike that no one ever got to see. One day I invited Mike to come to church with me and he was very hesitant. So I drove 45 minutes to his mother’s home to pick him up and he came out and said, I have a hang over, I can’t go. I said “Boy, I don’t care what gang you used to be in, I drove 45 minutes, you better get in my car!” He did and was worried that he was going to be judged. He wound up having a great time. And the only thing people wanted to know, was if he was my boyfriend. My response was “no” and I thought “If you only knew”. I didn’t plan to do any of this, I was just led to help in this way.

So the summer came to an end, Mike completed his hours and seemed to have a better view of life while still struggling-he contemplated suicide at one point-He just didn’t know how to register everything that had happened in his life. We stayed in contact for about 1 year and then got out of touch, which brings me to that phone call I got while in the school lounge. During this call, he just began to thank me for all of the support. He said that another person and I were the only people who ever supported him or believed in him. We discussed why he was locked up again and I just encouraged him and said “You can’t go in again” Since that time he has been locked up twice and a very close loved one passed away.

After each time he was released, he would look for a job with no success, so it was too easy for him to go back to his old ways, even though he really wanted to be on the right track. (Now I am not excusing his choices, but I can explain them) He says that a mistake you make at 16 years old can still effect you 10 years later. Today, Mike is in his late 20’s and got his first legal full-time job 7 months ago, got a promotion after 3 weeks on the job and has a daughter. He also wants to talk to youth about his story and what not to do. I saw him 4 months ago for the first time in 5 years and the first thing he said to me was “Yep, you still look like a white lady” lol! It was great seeing him, his mother, and daughter.

 In addition to Mike, I have been honored to mentor/work with many many youth and young adults and many of them still call me to this day. I’ve been told that my number was the only number they had memorized, which is pretty heavy and humbling. So I just can’t change it. I know I can’t be there for everyone, but I try to be there for as many people as I can. 

I share this long true story to say, you may never know how you effect someone’s life, but we must encourage people and hold each other accountable. Mike, most definitely, affected my life in a great way. I did none of this to get praise or credit but believe that’s just who God made me to be. I felt like I needed to support him even without knowing his back story. So I will never change my number (if I can help it) b/c who knows who will need me. So if you received my number after the year 2000, it’s the same one 🙂

**Mike is not his name and some details were left out, also Mike did grant me permission to share his story

Nugget: Who is there for you? Take some time encourage and tell someone you are proud of them.